As I sit here in my dorm room alone and attempt at my Discrete Math homework, I can't get myself to do it. I just can't, and I have to blame you for it...
I don't even know where to begin to describe how I feel. I don't know if I should be angry or sad. Should I be angry because you chose not to tell me and that I had to find out through a network of friends? Or should I be sad because I feel like I'm partly to blame for this because I didn't spend enough time with you or I didn't see the warning signs and I should have taken some action of some sort. But frankly, I don't know anymore...All I know is that sitting here and crying seems like the only thing that makes sense to me... We were supposed to talk today, but I don't think that's going to happen. Mostly because I don't know if I really want to... I know that at some point we have to talk about it because nothing is going to get fixed if we don't. But at this point in my life, I don't want to talk about it.
Even though you don't want things to change, I believe that they will change. The change may be good or it may be bad. I don't know. I hope you know that I may not be able to see you in the same light. I don't know... Is it worth it? Or has things gone past repair? I just want to find the answers, but I don't want to know the answer if that makes any sense...
What's done is done, and I guess only time will tell what happens...
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